Saturday, July 9, 2011

Relapse

If you haven't heard, the Conrad Family has been through some changes of late.  We moved to a new home over the first weekend of July and were accused by our mover-friends of being hoarders.  It was the hottest week we could have picked to do the move and I, too was kinda mortified by how much stuff we still have.  I truly did downsize when we left Washington but realized anew that our situation has changed yet again.  While we find ourselves blessed to be living in a cool old rustic 1500 sq ft house built in the 30's-50's, we're trying to fit 2800 sq feet of household into it.  Not gonna work.  So, my garage sale is turning into an Estate Sale and I'm OK with it.  Nothing like a good purge to set things right!


Our summer is well underway and Bennett is now hitting 50 mph in the batting cages and is excelling in baseball playing catcher, 2nd base and center field depending on where his arm and "leadership" are needed.  He's got a great coach and team and has stayed with the core members since early last year.  Olivia is Bennett's favorite understudy, catching well and hitting hard enough that we have to direct her away from the house.  She swims like a fish and sings all the time.  She continues to have a sweet and happy heart.  A puppy and a kitten are tops on the list for them once we get settled into our new domicile - promises made in WA and long awaited to be fulfilled.


As for Phil, I mentioned in my last blog that he is no longer in remission and we are at a crossroads concerning his treatment.  To review, during his last chemotherapy course he developed another pleural effusion and a CT scan and thoracentesis were performed.  Those results were compared to the previous CT from 9 weeks prior and showed the return of a 5 cm lymph node in his chest and pleural fluid full of cancerous lymph cells.  Fortunately however, despite some very tough days once he came home he was able to remain out of the hospital and without complications with this last course of chemo and he avoided having a blood transfusion!  It was the only time he's made it through a course without any "problems"!  Better late than never : )


It has been an intense few weeks of recovery for he and I.  We are in the midst of a major move.  There has been much to ponder.  There have been decisions to be made about what if anything to say to the kids.  Initially we had to wait until Phil was through the worst of the recovery before we could even begin to address what comes next.  Then slowly Dr. Kossman began to explain that the nature of Phil's disease has changed.  He told us to think of it as more of an ALL picture, acute lymphoblastic leukemia, the most common type of childhood leukemia.  Not only has the name changed but he will no longer be treated with the Hyper-CVAD regimen because he relapsed on it.  Initially Kossman spoke of trying various chemotherapeutic drug combinations to try to "buy some time".  Sobering words.


Then just a few days ago at our last meeting, he told us of a new FDA-approved drug specifically for relapsed T-cell lymphocytic lymphoma and ALL.  It is so new that he has no experience with it and spent the weekend reading up on the medical literature.  It is also very expensive and we are waiting to hear if our insurance company will be covering it.  We are hopeful as Phil is the perfect candidate.  We have received approval from Alvarado Hospital to treat him with it there and are happy to learn that it is an outpatient therapy given one time every week and a half!  No more 4 day stints with bad food!!


To prepare, Phil had another CT scan this week to determine what his last chemotherapy regimen accomplished.  We are hoping the 5 cm chest mass was shrunken somewhat by the chemo and we are anxious to hear about that.  His kidneys are still a bit taxed from all the medications but he is still strong enough to move some furniture around, unpack boxes and soldier on.  He is far from done fighting and we are thanking God for His incredible timing on this new drug.  We have yet to really fill the kids in on all the changes that are going on.  We figure they've seen their Dad come home from chemo, the usual tired and run down guy.  He's bounced back and is doing better, for now.  To try to explain all the nuances is more complicated than they need when everything all looks the same to them.  When things start looking different or Daddy isn't responding to the new drug then we'll have something to talk about.  As Phil says, they've had plenty of sadness and worry already.  
It's interesting though, the other day when Phil was particularly tired and napping on my sister's couch, Bennett could be overheard saying aloud to no one in particular, "I don't think Dad's in remission anymore".     
                                Our lives are, as ever, in His precious hands.

4 comments:

  1. We continue to pray for you....hard.
    -Gina and John

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  2. Prayers are with you as always. I sure hope this new medicine will do far more than "buy some time" -- I will be praying that it will exile it FOREVER! Big hugs to Bennett and all of you.
    Kathi

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  3. Praying soooooo hard that this new drug will be more than just something helpful!!!! More like something "miraculous" is my hope and prayer for you all!!!!
    I'm humbled by your strength and spirit. We are fighting right along side you, even if you can't see us. WE ARE THERE!!!

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  4. May today there be peace within.
    May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
    May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
    May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that
    has been given to you.
    May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
    Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to
    sing, dance, praise and love.
    It is there for each and every one of us..
    *************

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