Again with the effusion?

We're back in the office again, seeing Dr. Steven Kossman this time around since his old man Charles is on photo safari in Botswana. (I just gotta say I totally dig Chuck's choice of vacation spot, by the way.) Anyway, Phil is due to start another round of chemotherapy today but he's been feeling really crappy this week. His energy has been poor and he continues to have left sided chest discomfort and a weak cough.

A chest xray was done last week which showed a small infiltrate (a haziness) in his left lung but NOT an effusion so he was started on an antibiotic to treat a possible infection. So here we are and he still feels fairly rough around the edges though he's had no fever or sweats, no chills or other signs of worsening infection. According to Phil, this deal in his chest feels just like the other two effusions he's had prior to this, one on his right side and one on his left side. As of about a month ago, his PET/CT scans and bone marrow biopsy were really good so we are a bit confused as to what might be causing this again, if indeed it is another effusion.

His blood counts and lung field exams today were mostly normal. There was some dullness on the left but not enough to stop him from receiving his treatment. The plan was to get the chemotherapy this morning then go over to the hospital for an ultrasound of the lung and tap it if it is an effusion. Otherwise, it's full steam ahead. Keep on beating on this sucker with chemo until it's fully gone.

Phil's ultrasound showed he definitely had a large left-sided pleural effusion. The radiology techs drained off more than 1 liter of fluid and Phil is much more comfortable. The fluid will be sent off again for all the usual studies, including ruling out further lymphoma involvement/advancement. It is a "paranoid" time per Phil. To be on the brink of the BMT and to have this spring up again is very frustrating and disheartening. Especially because it was the tap of his left lung that came back positive for recurrence before. Phil said today that he realizes this is a bit like a "wrestling match" and that no sooner does he get one thing pinned down then he's got another situation popping up somewhere else. There is always a new opponent it seems.

He is scheduled to fly to Atlanta late next week to spend time with his best friends and his hopeful prayer is that he is well enough to do that. Of course, wisdom and discernment about the best choice for his ultimate health is our ultimate prayer request. With the BMT option on the horizon, each decision from here on out bears very thoughtful scrutiny.

Phil is very physically tired from the successive and cumulative toll of 3 (and now a 4th round) of chemotherapy. He is run down emotionally and psychologically after more than a year of chemo/surgery and complications and now, from confronting the daunting list of things that will be required of him for the BMT. Your faithfulness, your cards, wall posts, emails and prayers are keeping us all afloat as we walk through this most difficult of journeys. We continue to rely on you more than you will adequately know. You, the unseen team we look to for strength and determination when we feel depleted. I personally have felt revitalized this week and covet the prayers said in my stead. Thanks Team~

So Proud!

For several months now I've been hearing about a club for kids who have a parent with cancer.  It's run locally by an incredible woman named Honor, a cancer survivor herself.  The group is called C.L.I.M.B. and stands for Children's Lives Include Moments of Bravery.  Having lived with my kids for the last 6 months, I can tell you that is the truest statement I've ever heard.  When I first told Bennett and Olivia about this club I purposefully played up the part about the pizza and all the cool kids they'd meet but it was unnecessary ~ they were on board from the start.  It took several months for enough kids to sign up and all throughout that time they surprisingly continued to ask me "when is that cancer club going to start?!"


Last night the club finally met for the first time but sadly Bennett and Olivia were the only two in attendance.  Honor and her co-leader Sara were as charming and welcoming as could be and despite the lack of other "cool kids" my kiddos walked right in and made themselves at home.  This was no big feat for Bennett but for Olivia this could have been a huge stumbling block ~ thankfully, her big brother was with her and our preparations in advance of last night's meeting served us well.  


On the way there we told the kids they could feel anything at this club and there wasn't anything they couldn't talk about.  Bennett asked if that meant he could say bad things about us and we said yes, as long as he didn't use disrespectful words.  He said he was angry at Dad for having cancer at one point, not angry at the cancer.  Hooray!  He was naming his feelings and talking about them.  Olivia chimed in about feeling mad and sad.  Oh happy day ~ this is what I personally have been striving for.  All those nights spent reading to them and having pillow talk about their days, talking about what is going on inside of them, retelling it to them so eventually they can name it for themselves and tell it to me, or someone else.  Eureka and thank you Jesus!


When we picked them up after having a great sushi dinner ourselves, they told us all about the feelings they talked about and the pizza and cookies.  All in all, C.L.I.M.B was a huge success and worth the wait.  With Phil's chemotherapy starting in 2 weeks, the timing couldn't have been more perfect ~ once again, God has shown His genius and His timing is perfect.  He has put these two women in place to love on and help support our children through Chapter Two and beyond.  


Again and with more sincerity, Thank You Jesus!