Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Burgh

The kids and I just returned from what they are calling the vacation of a lifetime. We spent six days in Pittsburgh for a celebration and memorial of Phil's life followed by almost two weeks in Orlando to enjoy "the happiest place on earth" as well as Universal Studios and the wild beauty of the St John River and the promise of gators. The entire trip was a sacred, healing and outrageously fun time for us and was filled with moments of emotional connection and communion with the friends who loved Phil so well. Each of us was deeply affected by our time spent with those friends and I am so grateful, on behalf of my children especially, for the stories, love and affirmation that were poured into us.

Our time in Pittsburgh was exactly as I hoped it would be. There were not too many tears but instead numerous good stories were shared and I had the chance to meet a lot of the people from Team Conrad whom I'd come to love over the last year. Rob Hamilton and Jeff Breland's eulogy's were eloquent and individually captured the spirit of friendship they shared with Phil. And the video montage that Brad Bruckman put together encapsulated the times of Phil's life wonderfully - hearing Phil speak at the end took me by such surprise that I was immediately besought with tears. It was both a gift and a sad reminder of what we've lost.

I lost count of the times I heard people comment on how much Bennett looks and acts like Phil. Of how he has Phil's vibrant spirit and character. As his mother it made me proud and overjoyed for him to hear this and I loved seeing him beaming as he heard it repeated over and over again throughout the parish hall. And Olivia, quiet and contemplative by my side, missed nothing as she heard every compliment about her beauty and gentleness. The "buddies" as Phil called the guys who went on yearly trips together, made sure she heard what a miracle her dad thought she was and how much love he held in his heart for his special girl. It was love, love and more love.

As some of us gathered later to share leftovers, raise glasses in Phil's honor and continue sharing stories, the tears shed were more of laughter than anything else. Phil left quite a few whoppers behind and gave us ample material to work with. And, as if it were ever in question, he has the best friends. In the midst of coming together to mourn the too-soon passing of their dear friend, they were also having a really good time being together and celebrating this place called Edgewood that gave them a sense of shared identity, belonging, community, and connection. Be it comparing a Vinnie Pie to Mineo's pizza or rehashing the latest Pen's game against the Flyers, these Pittsburghers are the real deal - they bleed black and gold for sure. And to a person, they love life, they loved Phil and they let us know again and again how much he loved us.

Bennett commented that he felt like royalty while we were in Pittsburgh. The mere mention of his dad's name seemed to open doors and gain him access to things. When we went to Mineo's for pizza one day he mentioned to them that his dad worked there in high school. The next day at the memorial the owners came up to him and Olivia and invited them to come in to make pizza's and spend some time behind the counter. They had the time of their lives and came home with T-shirts and ball caps to boot! While there Bennett made plans to come back for a summer job and was already negotiating a salary.

Phil's brother Jamie had written a letter to the folks who now live in their childhood home, asking if we could stop by for a look. Steve, the owner, was incredibly gracious and opened his home to a dozen or so of us and gave Bennett a Pittsburgh hat and Olivia a bag of Jelly Bellys. We spent an hour walking the property, checking out the house and even crawling into the attic which David had called home for awhile. Jamie and Jeff Breland pointed out the various marks on the doors from stereo wiring and David cleared up some mysterious decals left behind in the attic for Steve. It was great fun and awesome for the kids to see where and how Phil grew up. Across the street was Jeff's house and the family there also graciously let us in, during their five year olds birthday party no less. Just another example of the friendly small neighborhood they grew up in that remains today. Standing in those homes was spiritual and bringing my children there was important.

By the time we left Pittsburgh for our adventure in Orlando we'd played in Frick park several times, eaten Mineo's AND Vincent's pizza, I'd seen the Pen's play and we'd seen some of the amazing architecture and history that makes Pittsburgh so beautiful. Bennett now knows where Mike Tomlin lives and he and Olivia have new Steeler gear to wear home. Pittsburgh and it's people have wound their way into our hearts big time and there is no question that we now bleed black and gold too.

2 comments:

  1. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
    Kathi

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  2. So glad that the memorial went well and your trip here was a good one. I hope Pittsburgh always holds a special place in your hearts because it will always be your home away from home if you ever need it to be. Glad you got to see what is so awesome about this city first hand. God Bless you.

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