New Uniforms

Do you have an outfit you regularly "go to"?  Around here we call it our "uniform".  Phil and I have a few variations on the theme of our "uniform" but it looks something like this. His consist of a pair of flannel pajama pants or long Champion cotton workout shorts and a T-shirt and some shearling slippers or flip flops depending on the time of year.  Mine varies between fleece sweats or Victoria Secret black yoga pants and a T-shirt du jour with slippers or flip flops.  There is usually a heating pad or rice pad associated with this ensemble by the end of the day.  Like an old sweater that feels comfortable because one wears it all the time, you might not notice right away when there are holes in the elbows or that you've got a big snag somewhere.  Frankly, you may not even care because it is, after all your favorite sweater, or at least, your most comfortable one and gosh darnit, it isn't called your uniform for no reason.  


My point in telling you this little tidbit from our daily life is that our other "uniform" for the last 9 months has been cancer.  We wear it every day, every night, everywhere we go.  And take it from me, it doesn't go with anything I own and tends to clash.  It's hard to hide and accessorize but I try.  Anyway, when we heard just the other day that Phil is in some kind of remission we were both completely dumbstruck.  We weren't prepared for such amazingly good news! We are always prepared for more bad news because he isn't feeling 100% normal yet and because for the last 9 months we've always heard bad news.  It was a weird experience to hear "You're in remission!" while looking at him and seeing that he felt like crap.  After hearing it though I know we both felt that our old uniform had changed.  But now what?  He isn't a cancer survivor quite yet.


The day after hearing the remission news he saw Dr. Mayer the ID specialist who told Phil he needed more testing to get to the bottom of this pleural effusion that has been hanging around since he left the hospital.  A pleural effusion is excess fluid that can accumulate in the fluid-filled space that surrounds the lungs.  Excessive amounts of such fluid can impair breathing by limiting the expansion of the lungs during inspiration - hence Phil's shortness of breath, cough and general fatigue.  He also has fluid around his heart, a condition called pericarditis, which was studied earlier in the week with a trans-esophageal echocardiogram.  It was found to be essentially normal -- at least no infection was found and nothing needs to be done for the fluid around his heart at this time.


As for the pleural effusion, Phil will have a thorocentesis today wherein a needle is inserted through the back of the chest wall into the pleural space and the fluid will be removed and sent for testing.  The cause of the pleural effusion will determine therapy.  Needless to say, we will be very anxious to receive these results early next week.  When we see Dr. Kossman on Friday of this week he will tell us his thoughts about what's next for the lymphoma and the final steps for kicking it's ass to the curb once and for all.  


YES, it's ANOTHER BIG WEEK for Phil and Team Conrad.  We'll be getting a shiny new uniform so to speak.  This time around Phil's got normal functioning bone marrow and no mass in the chest.  Feels like a more level playing field.  Hopefully just a few more details to take care of.  Prayerfully, we submit this yet again to our Lord and Savior who has seen us this far.