At some point in the early hours of Saturday morning when he rolled over in his semi-conscious state of sleep, Phil had an amazing experience. He realized he'd done it without pain and without having thought about it. For most people this would hardly even make the list of memorable experiences but Phil's definition of memorable experiences is clearly much different than most people's these days. For him to roll over without planning it out and taking a deep breath to prep himself IS a big deal. Thank you Neulastin, thank you WBC's (white blood cells). Never, and I mean never, underestimate the enormous role your immune system plays in how well you feel day to day.
Twenty pounds lighter, ghostly pale and having a white count that had bottomed out Phil was merely a shadow of himself when I tucked him in Friday night. Dr. Kossman told us Friday that when the WBC's start coming back we'd be amazed at how quickly he'd bounce back. Fo-shizzle!
Friday he ate, let's see...almost nothing. He did, let's see...nothing but sleep and try to conserve enough energy to make it to the car under his own power to get to the appointment. But Saturday now that's a horse of a different color. That whole rolling over without thinking about it was just the tip of the iceberg. For the first time in a long time I got to sleep in and when I eventually pried myself out of bed, the kids had been fed and Phil was, wait for it, hangin' out with them! Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow!
Saturday he ate, let's see...bacon for breakfast, and from there it just kept going. Every few hours he had his head in the refrigerator to see what else we had in there and his appetite was back in earnest. As for activity, he was up for most of the day and had his first meal at the table as our two whole families sat down for dinner for the first time since moving in. Today, Sunday, was even better than yesterday and we've had time and energy to talk about what we've just gone through, what we've learned so far and to plan for the next cycle.
We know that days 8-11 are the worst but that the sun rises again on days 12-14 or so. We know the chemo packs a punch but it can't poison the spirit. And we know we have a community of friends and family with us every step of the way on this journey that makes us cry, question, struggle and sometimes even laugh. Today Phil ate like a horse to strengthen himself for the next round, today he helped around the house, today his body made more and more WBCs to combat infection and today I got to be with all 3 of my sisters. Today was a great day.