The New Normal

Both times we've seen Dr. Kossman so far we've been blown away by the information he's had to share with us. Or in our vernacular, blitzed. Blitzed by the news, by the gravity of the situation, by the pace at which life has begun to move, by this whole ball of wax. It was against this backdrop that we went to our third visit yesterday to hear the results of the CT scan and the bone marrow biopsy and make a plan for our next steps. Well, Dr. Kossman did not disappoint.

First of all, the bone marrow specimen he took from Phil's pelvis was almost completely replaced with lymphoma which is obviously not a good thing. Secondly, Phil has a lot of lymph node involvement in his chest and neck. Especially in his chest. While this is very typical in this disease, when you hear the size and see the doctor making the shape with his hands it is quite harrowing.

We also learned that Phil's course of chemotherapy is really just the first step in his treatment and is not truly the cure. The goal is to get him into remission as soon as possible with the chemotherapy ( which could take 6-8 cycles) and then he will need to have a bone marrow transplant. The vast majority of patients with this lymphoma who achieve remission do not stay in remission. Therefore, the bone marrow transplant is the cure. In a nutshell that boils down to 6-8 months of chemotherapy followed by a bone marrow transplant.

So, today begins with a procedure to have a port surgically placed in Phil's chest through which he will receive all the chemo. Then he'll be admitted first thing Tuesday morning to begin 4 days of the first round of his regimen.

Whew! Phil and I walked out of the office in a complete daze. The list of side effects had been run through , prescriptions had been written, disability had been discussed, a few tears had been shed, even a few jokes made. At one point we had a brief moment to ourselves while the doctor stepped out to take a call and we shared a hug and a sloppy prayer.

We are through the looking glass and there is no going back! And while we are missing friends and family back in Washington, we are absolutely certain that we are in the right place. The care we are receiving from Dr. Kossman is par excellence and he is a consummate diagnostician, physician and gentleman. Being with family at such a time as this can't be undervalued and the weather...well, there's no rain in the forecast anytime soon.

At the end of a long appointment we walked hand in hand to the elevator and rode down to our car in silence. Having no idea of what we were doing next other than heading to the pharmacy, we stepped out into bright sunshine and 75 degrees with blue skies all around and put on our sunglasses.